Facts of Relationship And Marriage

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit). Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make' love. Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

NB:
Those who are still single may learn something from here... Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship.

Let it Go .............................

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, "They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains... LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth... LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge.... LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents.. LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude... LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him... LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.... LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ... LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for you!!! LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left… Think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!

So i fell again!!!

LOVING....
I made a vow i would never fall in love again...............
But, i fell in love with u as hard as i fought not falling
I cld not believe i did it again, i'm more amazed at how fast i fell again
Do u not learn I ask?? After you end up broken!
I resisted falling but i fell anyways, ur Charm was irresistible....
This time like many others I fell hard but with a difference,
I fell with reserved strength to rise when the previous hurt left a hole in my heart.....
I was ready to laugh to shut my heart to love when you suddenly showed up in it,
Ill be fine, no matter what you going through rite now.................
All these thoughts in my head i loved u still
Days gone by, months pass and Years will roll by,
Your arrow would slowly reveal its beauty
The reflections are captivating to the eyes..........
I fight it , but can u fight urself????
I try not to look in ur eyes cuz i see my future but scared its a mirage, which makes me paranoid
I tried not to holding u for long, cuz like a ghost i predict ull become
I try not to think of you, even though my thoughts cant process anything else
I try not to dream of you, cuz waking up is like torture and ill rather remain in trance
I try not to believe love found me........
Loving u flows like a rhythm, sweet and pleasing to the ears
Loving u makes life simple, optimistic and real
Loving u gives me reason to smile
Loving u has taught me maturity in its true meaning
Loving u has blessed me
Loving u is what ill choose to do in another life!!
I av found the one to whom i am ALL to.........
This moment is a trial period but you will surpass it all!!!

Change

Change is the most constant phenomenon in existence! i guess everyone would agree with me. when we think nothing good would come from change then, we are extremely wrong; to take a decision to change a particular situation looks rather tough to handle at first but it could be for the best!

Change also goes in hand with Risks..if you cant take risks then you can't change, if nothing is working well,,,then the approach needs to be changed or the situation needs to be changed, this is where the risk comes in.

We must all be ready to embrace change no matter how painful or difficult it may look or sound....We must change.
The first few hours of a new born on earth is not how he/she would look in hours to come! we have all changed, i would term it as a fixed attribute of God.

Ask yourself a question; the change you taking is it for the good of all or to the detriment of all??? think deep and reflect on all decisions of change to take........

Don't also forget make a change that will glorify God and do good to a better part of the populace!

Hardwork and Commitment

On the 13th March 2009, one of the Friday the 13th , i woke up prayed and called all my family members to ascertain we all still safe from the bad omen associated with every friday the 13th especially my father that dreaded the day and always told me of every occurrence associated with this day! i was glad when i knew every one was fine; but like 10mins after i made the calls, i got another disturbing call that Adebayo Julius Ayeni slept in the Lord! My father that i just spoke to a moment ago!!!! i was crushed because that was the only pillar i had.

This is a man that for the first 23yrs of my life i disliked him because i felt he was too strict and his principles on hard work and commitment were too rigid; little did i know i was getting the greatest gift of eternity, the gift that im also using now.


I learnt that until one is committed there is hesitancy, chance to draw back, ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), but there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans! That's the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one's favor all manner Of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, that no man would have dreamt could have come his way in his life time. This made me have a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." 



The credit belongs to those who are actually in the arena, who strive valiantly; who know the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spend themselves in a worthy cause; who at the best, know the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if they fail, fail while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. 

Those were your teachings Dad! Love and Miss you more........

Tribute to my Father! Papa J

A Tribute to my Dad


Daddy, it took me a long time to understand and love you deeply because i always saw you as a difficult and uncaring man but little did i know that you were grooming us, this i am extremely proud of now.


You taught me to be hardworking because the result is everlasting bliss; when i spoke to you, i said to you "daddy se wa pa" (hope you good) and u said "mo wa pa omo mi" ( Im good my Daughter), you promised to be strong and get well for me because i said i still have a lot to do for you, but you always soiunded it that , truthfulness and principles are virtues that i must uphold ; that i saw in you; you know i call you my strict father, my caring father, my incorruptible father; where are you now; i miss you so much now that i do not know how to cope but i know the lord loves you more.


Daddy, do not leave us a lone, because i grew up to know you as a protective father, that virtue you must not drop now.


I am your replica, this i am so proud of, I love you


Sleep on Daddy